Poem: Pull Me Back

Pull Me Back

You entrap me here with your sweet smile
You enslave me with your voice
Your eyes they pierce my soul to its core
Was loving you ever my choice?

Who can withstand your seductive gaze?
Who can resist your touch?
How will I ever break free from your grasp?
Why do I love you so much?

Your voice so sultry, whispering love
Your promises all are a lie
My faceless lover, you ravish my soul,
Then bite me, making me cry.

Why cry for you?
Why lie for you?
I pray I never
Die for you.

My mind is breaking, I need to leave
My heart is blackened by sin
Just as I begin to walk out that door
Your devil eyes pull me back in.


W.  Spencer
2010

Poem: Eclipsed By Madness

Written in State Hospital South,  Blackfoot, Idaho. One of my favorites.

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Eclipsed By Madness

As the sun rises
Ascending the sky
My paranoia and
Hateful fear growing
Peaking and reaching
Its zenith on high
As the noon with its
Brightful light glowing
Glowing and growing
Its frightful seeds sowing
As it reaches its zenith on high.

And like the seed planted
Breaks forth from its shell
Pushes up and
Releases its hold
So grows my fright
Of the demons from hell
That curse me
Reviling my soul
Reviling while smiling
My soul slowly dying
For it’s cursed by the demons from hell.

And all those who love me
My family and friends
Even those who just
Know me by name
See the destruction
That’s taking its toll
How the devil is
Playing his game
He’s flaying and playing
While I’m desperately praying
As destruction is taking its toll.

So thus passes on
The best years of my life
While my spirit
So painfully dies
And when ends the torment
There’s no one who knows
Is there anyone
Hearing my cries?
Eyes tearing I’m fearing
The demons are leering
Of my torment there’s no one that knows.

I’m in institutions
In locked down psych units
For fear my madness complete
And when I’ll go home
Is unsure and unknown
Or if ever this illness I’ll beat.
I’m fighting yet trying
Ignoring their lying
That never this illness I’ll beat.

W. Spencer
7/4/09
SHS Blackfoot, Idaho

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I was diagnosed with schizophrenia in 2001, and this stay in SHS was my first–the “culmination”, if you will, of many years of being in and out of the local psychiatric hospital.

While being in any hospital can be an unpleasant occurance, this stay did produce a few good poems.